Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
