i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
