Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
