i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
