You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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