i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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