Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
