I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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