He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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