And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
