How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
