You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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