Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
