i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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