nut hugger
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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