it was like his penis was on wheels.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize