god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
