but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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