remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
