His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
