I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He kissed a someone with a penis
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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