you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
