Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
