when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
