Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
