Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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