im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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