420 ftw
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
