He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
