It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize