Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
