I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
