Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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