I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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