I love black thongs
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this beer tastes like vomit already
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
