he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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