Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
