Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am available for nakedness
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
