We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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