I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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