Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
