do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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