My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
