And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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