Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
