He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
