were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
