dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
