vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
