ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize