Porn is love you can see.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
