He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
