i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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