yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
