yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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