wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
