Me. At least after what I've been through.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
