Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You dont lie about slip and slides
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
