Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
