google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
