Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
