why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So. Much. Porn.
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