You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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